escort > dating

I started dating later than most girls I know. I was eighteen when I had my first boyfriend [which is not dating, as we hardly ever went on any dates. Guys my age just want to "hang out" until you're their girlfriend, whatever that means] and after we broke up I was really into the whole idea of playing the field and learning about my interest when it comes to relationships.

Dates are great and terrible all at once. They start with so many pretenses. Both parties tend to drink a bit more than they usually would to make themselves [and the other party] seem more interesting and free spirited. I always felt like I had to hold back telling about myself, because I am a bit of a wild card and being as vibrant as I am only scares a 25 year old man. Dates were always better when the gentleman I was out with was over 30, and more so the older he was. 38-48 year olds were my favorite men to date back when I was on the market, but the problems ensued when they admitted their desire to get married and start a family and I reminded them that I was a head strong 22 year old trying to establish myself on my own before I even thought of that. Being a published author is currently more important to me than being a mother. I think kids are cool, but I don't want to resent children I might have, raising them with the feeling that they are the reason I gave up on my lifelong dream. That would suck for both of us.

Dating is confusing. For the first several dates with guys they would hide things: five dates in is never the right time to find out about a cigarette smoking habit, an ex-wife, a kid or two or three, a felony conviction, a current wife, the fact that they aren't actually legally/gainfully employed. I've never been a cynic, and it was never enough to make me give up on men [as made obvious by my current profession, I love men!] but it was enough to question the classic set up of the American model of dating. They way the first date is a job interview, the second date is to charm them, and the third date means sex. And so you paint your best face on and buy new clothes. The first time they see your house you cleaned for four days. It's all forms of deception and it's senseless if the whole point is to make someone a part of your real life. I mean, are we supposed to continue to fake things for the next 10-25 years [like a prison sentence] until we've had our 2.5 kids, a dog, bought the right house, and then got the trendiest divorce lawyers in the city? And then he get's a sports car and a 21 year old girlfriend, and I get plastic surgery and Eat.Pray.Love? Yeah...I'm not about that life.

Being an escort makes the interaction more straight forward. At dinner we can relax. You've read up about me and know all the details to make the decision that I'm the company you desire. You know more about me than I know about you, so we can spend the evening talking about your life, because you know I genuinely want to learn your story. This makes things ridiculously more relaxed.

In "real life" men lie to women, and pretend they want relationships so they can have sex, and women lie to men and pretend like they only want sex so they can end up in a relationship. Emotional entanglements are confusing, and miscommunication is rampant because everyone is trying to get something they never will say aloud they desire. Being an escort has raised my expectations for how well a man can and will treat me. I know how good things can be now.

When I meet you, it's all excitement on both our parts. We have fun. We play. There is no judgement or hiding faults because why would there be. It is a fantasy, but in my estimation it is more real than the mixed up affair that is dating. Hence the title of this post. Escorting > Dating.